5 Resolutions to Avoid Falling Into A Mid-Year Burnout

The past month has been a blur. I’ve had four big deadlines at work, been out of of town four times (including an entire week in Chicago), and got some bad news about a family member’s health.

Being busy, traveling, and dealing with tough person news is difficult to manage for anyone, but it’s especially tough for those of us who battle perfectionism. Two weeks ago, I felt extremely frustrated and overwhelmed with everything on my plate, when I had to take a deep breath and figure out how I can pursue my goals while avoiding burnout.

My thoughts led to me making five mid-year resolutions:

Accept that there’s no real Superman: Realize and understand that no matter how talented or bright you may be, you can’t do everything.

Not being in the office much this past month has created a long to-do list at work and left some personal things neglected. I found myself getting more and more stressed, simply by the number of things on my plate, but I finally realized that it’s virtually impossible for me to get to everything in the time I’d like to and that it’s okay. I’ll do my very best to get to what I can each day, and eventually, I’ll get caught up.

Refocus on priorities: Concentrate on the things that matter most to you.

I wrote down the things that were important to me and pared the list down to the top 5 things in my life (in order): friends and family, time outdoors, excelling at work, volunteering, and blogging. I’m making sure that the tasks I work on at any given time fit within those five priorities, and any new projects or opportunities have to fit within a priority or else I won’t pursue it.

Simplify life by letting go of things. Eliminate the optional tasks that you genuinely don’t have time for or don’t enjoy doing.

After looking at my priorities, I evaluated the things I’ve been neglecting to see if they’re things I can realistically give time to. I made a tough decision to leave the board of one of the organizations I volunteer for and donate to. Although I love the organization and its work, my work and personal demands aren’t allowing me to give the organization the attention it needs from a board member. I’m doing the group a favor — allowing them to find a board member who can be more active — and taking one big item off of my to-do list. It’s okay to cut things and say no.

Take time for self: Each day, do something that fun and personally fulfilling to you.

I need to make sure that I spend time each day doing something that I enjoy doing — not something to please someone else or that I feel obliged to do. It’s as simple as walking my dog each afternoon or reading a book. It means curbing my travel schedule so that at least two weekends each month are spent at home instead of on the road or in a plane. Time at home to catch a baseball game, go on a hike, or simply veg out on the couch is important.

And it means not answering the phone. Our technology dependency has created the expectation that people are always available, and we feel the urge to immediately answer the phone or respond to each voicemail. My recent purchase of a Crackberry has only made me even more guilty of it. Over the past few weeks, though, I’ve turned my phone off when doing personally fulfilling things or simply refused to answer when the phone gives that oh-so-familiar buzz. I can ignore it because I have to create time to catch my breath and do things that I enjoy.

Accentuate the positive: Instead of focusing on what hasn’t been done, think of all the things you’ve accomplished.

I am notoriously self-critical, and while it can sometimes be a great motivator, I often create more stress than external factors do. The other week, I caught myself thinking solely about what tasks at work I haven’t gotten to (donors I need to call, emails I haven’t sent, etc.). When I finally thought about the things I had gotten to (getting three major donor receptions off the ground, sending a 4,000-piece mail appeal, and submitting four grant proposals), I quickly realized that the pluses far outweigh the minuses. As my girlfriend tells me, I need to be far nicer to myself at work and concentrate on actual accomplishments versus pending tasks.

I can tell a marked difference between my mood a few weeks ago and how I feel now. The list of things that have to get done haven’t changed too much, but I’m more confident about the rest of the year and ready to move forward — with much less stress.

July 14, 2008 | Filed Under Blog, Career, Random

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Win Them Over: Generation Y Can Overcome Age Discrimination with Emotional Intelligence

Ageism is something most — if not all — twenty-somethings will have to confront as we build our careers. Often, we’re the youngest people in our organizations, and every now and then we’re confronted with overt displays of ageism. How we respond is critical.

My advice: Nip overt ageism in the bud. Make it clear that you won’t tolerate blatant disrespect and that you expect to work professionally and equally. Otherwise, the problem behavior will continue and you’ll never gain respect within the organization. The key to this is choosing the right approach, though.

Sometimes you have to kill them with kindness. During the second week of my first political job — consulting a state-wide organization while doing constituency organizing — a 70-year-old activist walked up to me during an important meeting and yelled, “Who in the hell hired this kid?”

I wanted to tell the lady where to shove it, but she’d become one of the most vocal activists in the state over a 40-year career.

I bit my tongue and said, “Maam, I didn’t hire myself, so you’ll have to take that issue up with people far higher on the totem pole.” It created a laugh in the room, and I continued by saying, “There’s no changing the fact that we have to work together, so I ask that you do me a big favor and share your wealth of knowledge with me so we can both be successful.”

Her mood changed drastically and the meeting moved forward without incident. After the meeting, I got several comments for handling her outburst, and I was able to talk with her one-on-one and convince her to start getting lunch with me regularly.

So when you’re faced with ageism from someone with authority and respect within your organization and whom you have to work alongside, you might have to consider the nice route by:
- Being humble and as nice as you can
- Showing respect for their age and experience
- Asking them to mentor you (realizing you don’t have to take their advice)

Basically, you want to make the potential adversary feel like they are a partner in your success.

Other times, you have to show authority. I worked full-time through undergrad, and in one of my jobs, I managed a housing complex near the university. Part of my responsibility was managing 100 tenants, 12 staff, and our relationship with a food service and janitorial company.

Within three months of my job, my main contact with the food service company — a 50-year-old guy with over 30 years experience in the field — began going over my head when he disagreed with my decisions, saying “Young guys don’t get it.” Luckily, my bosses didn’t micromanage, but I knew I had to stop this pattern quickly.

I called the guy into my office for a one-on-one meeting and began it by saying, “Look, I may be young, but I’m not a fool. I respect you, but I sign your check and I should hear your concerns directly instead of from my supervisors. Please don’t go above my head again, or we’ll have issues. I would hate to see you lose this account due to insubordination.”

It was extremely difficult for me to be so stern (I’m usually a happy go lucky guy), but it was necessary. He stopped going over my head and brought concerns directly to me, which made it much easier to be effective in the job.

So when you’re faced with overt ageism from a direct report, consider showing authority by:
- Having one-on-one conversations
- Being direct and authoritative
- Showing respect for their age and experience, while asking for the same
- Clarifying roles and responsibilities
- Indicating potential outcomes if problem behavior doesn’t change

Basically, you want to make the potential adversary feel like you are a partner in their success.

These are two methods that have helped me deal with overt ageism. Stay tuned for strategies to deal with inconspicuous — but still troublesome — examples of ageism in the workplace.

June 17, 2008 | Filed Under Blog, Career, Columns, Education

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Don’t wait to engage millennial donors

For fundraising, most organizations solely look to boomers and seniors for donations. As a major gifts officer, I completely understand it. The prospect pool is much higher because of the sheer population numbers and income.

This conventional wisdom often leads organizations to completely ignore young donors, but they are making big mistakes if they don’t build donor relationships with millennials.

Millennials are willing to give. The Center on Philanthropy at Indiana University (working with Campbell & Company consultants) released an excellent report confirming that millennials are just as likely as any other generation to donate. In a study of 10,000 people representing each generation, the average giving level of millennials is on par with that of other generations.

The study also found that millennials are more likely than any other generation to cite the “desire to make the world a better place to live” as a key motivation for their philanthropy. According to the Association of Fundraising Professionals, this response suggests that younger donors will respond better to messages that focus on the global impact of an organization’s work.

Millennials are willing to raise money. From activities like Jump Rope for Heart to collegiate dance marathons, philanthropy has been part of most millennials’ complete educational careers. Fundraising allows us to scratch the entrepreneurial itch, and more college and even high school students are stepping up to the philanthropic plate.

Non-profits would be remiss to not engage students in their fundraising efforts. My organization, the Ronald McDonald House and Family Room of Durham, is working with Duke University through DukeEngage, a program that places Duke students in summer internships at non-profit agencies. Our great interns are engineering a program called Schools of Hope that will engage local elementary and high school students in fundraising for the Ronald McDonald House.

Millennials are willing to take on executive volunteer roles and make major gifts. I serve on the board of Traction, a 501c3 organization that engages young people in civic life, and I’m a major donor to both Traction and the Ronald McDonald House. My best friend Josh is a trustee of his church and contributes over 10% of his salary to the church and it’s non-profit foundation. We both deduct manageable amounts each month from my paycheck that add up to major gifts for the organizations.

One of the best ideas I’ve heard is from Tracey, a VP for Development at the United Way who commented on my blog over at Brazen Careerist. Her organization is starting a Young Leaders Society to encourage major giving among 20 and 30-somethings.

And millennials could become lifetime donors. Investing in young donors now can be very profitable for organization’s long-term success. Getting a donor engaged in her 20s — even at a low-dollar level — and effectively stewarding her generosity could develop a lifetime donor. Over a potential 30+ year relationship, donations will grow with her income and she’d be perfect for capital projects and planned giving as years go on.

Universities have long realized these points. UNC, my alma mater, begins donor relationships from the day you enroll. Their HeelRaisers Society and senior campaigns even allow students to network and solicit other students via Facebook. Once you graduate, you’re invited to join the Young Alumni donor network and given “discounts” to join the University’s highest giving societies.

The sooner non-profit organizations borrow these ideas and engage with young donors, the better their outlook for the future.

June 2, 2008 | Filed Under Blog, Fundraising, Non-Profits

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The art of taking a real vacation


It’s been a while since I posted, but I just came off of a great vacation. My girlfriend and I went out to North Carolina’s Outer Banks, a truly phenomenal place, to camp for a week. Our time at the Outer Banks was one of the best vacations I’ve ever had. On the trip, I renewed my commitment to my job, and returned to work this week refreshed, energetic, productive and happy.

Many people’s approach to vacation is flat-out wrong. They leave home, but spend every waking moment tied to a Crackberry, send emails at the same frequency that they do in the office, jump on conference calls while gone, and even do serious work on vacation (crunching numbers, writing reports). They ignore their loved ones and annoy the heck out of coworkers who think, “Aren’t they supposed to be on vacation?”

Each person needs time to recharge and renew, and with millennials focus on personal life, we need to make sure we have real vacations that boost our happiness and send us back to work ready to roll:

Pick a place you can explore. Don’t take time off of work to just veg out on your couch; go somewhere that has things to do and explore. The Outer Banks has beaches, two bodies of water, several national parks and historical sites, museums, lighthouses, wildlife, and great restaurants. Pick a vacation spot that is beautiful and allows you to do things that you will enjoy.

Go on a technology fast. Most people don’t have relaxing vacations because they stay tethered to work and home stress through electronic communication. Your vacation should free you from all communications with the office and anything that will stress you. I left my laptop and PDA at home, I turned my cellphone off for the entire trip, and I left my watch in the car.

Relax like never before. Sleep in, read, walk, hike, talk — do whatever it is you need to relax. During the work week, caffeine is usually my friend because I’m a chronic insomniac, so on vacation, I slept in every day to catch up. I never get to read for recreation, so I finished Good to Great on vacation, which was a phenomenal read. It allowed me to return to work recharged (and get on a more regular sleep schedule).

Consider roughing it (or at least connect with nature somehow). For me, there’s nothing more relaxing than being in nature. I love hiking, cycling, and just being outdoors. We camped at the Outer Banks — tents, outdoor stoves, the whole nine — and the simplicity of life was such a healthy change of pace. But if you are one of those folks who just can’t go too rough, at least pick a vacation spot that will allow you to connect with nature in some way, be it a short hike or walk along some water.

Most importantly, be introspective. For a good amount of time each day, my girlfriend and I split and did our separate things. I’d go shopping for supplies or food while she stayed at camp, or she’d go do a small hike while I read on the beach. While you’re alone, be sure to do some soul searching and think about where you’re at in your career and life.

Here are some questions I asked myself:
Am I happy? At work and with life as a whole.
Am I accomplishing my goals and concentrating on my work and personal priorities?
How can I simplify my life, and what stresses do I need to simply let go?
What am I doing really well, and what do I need to improve upon?
Where do I think I want to be professionally a year from now?

I came out of that internal conversation realizing that I’m extremely happy — perhaps the happiest I’ve ever been. My job is a great match for me and fulfilling, I’m making progress on my goals, and my life in general is at a place that makes me extremely content.

May 30, 2008 | Filed Under Blog

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How non-profits can attract young board members

The non-profit sector is providing a remarkable opportunity for twenty-somethings in all walks of life. Most non-profit leaders, especially board members, are retiring soon, leaving a void that we should step up and fill.

I’ve written before that twenty-somethings should extend their volunteer roles to include executive-level volunteering such as joining boards and committees for non-profit organizations. However, organizations have to provide key things if they want to attract young people to help lead them:

A sense of purpose. Good board members want to connect with a noble cause and “give back” to the community. They want to connect with a defined mission that helps someone else. For the Ronald McDonald House of Durham, where I work, it’s helping critically ill children and their families. For Traction, the organization whose board I’m on, it’s getting more 20 and 30-somethings involved in civic life.

Clarity. Recruiting board members should be taken as seriously as hiring new staff. With many organizations, people are simply asked to “join the board” without details on what they will be expected to do. Instead, potential board members should be given a clear, concise job description that outlines roles, responsibilities, or expectations.

Accountability. Good board members need to be managed effectively and held accountable for their performance. Staff at non-profits should regularly touch base with all board members, make sure they are engaged, and help them accomplish their goals for the organization. And if they aren’t, you should ass them to “piss or get off the pot.” Good board members will want their colleagues to be held accountable as well — no one wants to pull a disproportionate amount of weight.

Technology and social networking. Keeping millennial board members engaged will require thinking outside of the box for decision-making and communication. In-person meetings will always be necessary for some things, but organizations should start using conference calls, voice over IP, online document collaboration, chats, and social networking groups that can allow busy people to contribute outside of boring meetings.

Benefit to them. The best board members will stay with organizations because there is a personal and professional benefit to their involvement. Organizations should provide opportunities for networking, professional development, skills extension, fun and other benefits to board members.

A sense of accomplishment. Board members need to see the fruits of their labor. Organizations should set SMART goals (smart, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely) and involve board members in accomplishing them. Giving them specific tasks, creating an action-oriented culture, sharing the organization’s success will surely keep great board members around — as opposed to many groups, whose boards do little other than sitting around and talking about what should be done.

Organizations that don’t provide these things for board members will lose severely. Board members could feel unchallenged, unneeded, or like they’re spinning their wheels. And given how busy talented millennials are, they’ll likely move their time toward structured activities and organizations.

The smartest organizations will use these tactics now to ensure sustained participation and leadership from the best and the brightest our generation has to offer.

May 19, 2008 | Filed Under Blog, Non-Profits

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Balling on a Budget: The challenges of buying your first home

House Yesterday, I ran into two very cool twenty-somethings, legal employees who are looking to buy their first homes in my neighborhood. We spent over an hour talking about the home-buying process, the rewards of home ownership, and the unique challenges of home ownership that most renters may not be prepared for.

I spent a blog post explaining why twenty-somethings should buy homes now, but there are a few challenges that you must take care of during the process:

You need to understand the home buying process. Purchasing your first home can be a confusing, intimidating process. Before getting started, make sure you understand the real estate process, lest you fall prey to rogue real estate agents, predatory lenders, and botched deals.

Although there are many helpful vendors out there, don’t depend completely on the people who are selling you a product to give you objective information. I know several people who lost thousands because they didn’t fully understand the process.

There’s plenty of information out there to give you a good overview of the process and some tips. Check out HUD, About.com, Kiplinger, and Smart Money to get started.

You need good credit. Each twenty-something should check his or her credit report three times each year using the free credit reporting systems online. You get one free report per year from the three reporting bureaus, and your credit score — aka FICO score — is the key to getting a good interest rate. Not only will you have a better picture of your financial health, but you will also catch identity theft.

If you have credit problems — such as late payments, credit limits to the max, or even lack of credit — you can talk to credit counselors and loan officers to get input on strategies that will improve your credit score and make you more attractive to lenders. Having a few problems on your credit doesn’t automatically disqualify you, though. I was a little irresponsible with a department store credit card I got when I was a freshman in college, but using strategies from credit counselors made everything even out.

You need savings. I encourage everyone to look for those home ownership programs that will help you with a down payment and closing costs. I got over $40,000 from state and federal sources that are often overlooked.

However, there is a significant investment required. I put a little over $1000 down to qualify for the home ownership programs, and as part of your initial offer to purchase a home, you need to put some money down as “earnest money.” Also, I had to purchase a refrigerator, washer, dryer, kitchen items, and furniture, which are important but should not be the source of more credit card debt. I saved and saved beforehand until I could pay cash for most of these items.

You need to continue saving. If there’s a problem at your house, it’s your responsibility to fix it. Pipes burst? You call the plumber. AC or heat not working? You call the technician. I think you get the idea: there’s no more landlord to call in order to take care of household repairs.

If you purchase a home, you need to save at least 1% of the home’s value each year and devote it solely to a home maintenance fund for emergencies. Purchase a home warranty that will cover repairs during your first year or more — my contractor has fixed small things for me at no charge because of my warranty.

And if you have a homeowners association (HOA), figure out what repairs they cover. My HOA costs a pretty penny (over $100 each month), but they take complete care of my lawn and garden area, exterior water and sewage problems, and exterior painting.

You need to stay on top of things. The home buying process takes a lot of paperwork and people management. Make multiple copies of your tax returns, pay stubs, and loan applications, and keep them in a safe place. Turn in applications and forms in person, if possible. Follow up with all of the people you meet in the process and make sure your real estate agent, loan officer, and attorney keep their promises.

Finally, you need patience. Finding the right home, real estate agent, and loan package can be an arduous journey. Doing it right means conducting careful research, talking with many people, taking time from work, filling out countless forms, and waiting on things to be approved. In fact, it took me a few weeks shy of a year from thinking “Hey, I want to buy a house!” to my closing date. Many people give up because of the time involved, but patience will definitely pay off.

Again, I recommend that twenty-somethings purchase homes if they’re planning on staying put for the next 3-5 years. The time is now to take advantage of the nation’s housing situation. Home ownership is deeply rewarding, but be ready for the challenges that lie ahead.

May 15, 2008 | Filed Under Balling on a Budget, Blog

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Things I learned from a career in politics

Twenty-somethings are engaged in politics like never before. Online communications, social networking tools and the general buzz around the this year’s elections have made us more socially conscious and politically active than ever. The zeitgeist has no doubt made countless twenty-somethings consider making political work their career, but twenty-somethings should apply some serious thought before deciding to work in politics.

The excitement around 2006 led me to take a political job. I spent two years working in North Carolina’s political realm, doing grassroots organizing (canvassing, phone banks, training, and voter outreach) and fundraising and campaign finance consulting. I worked with state-wide organizations, groups in all 100 North Carolina counties, 10 political committees, and over 85 candidates.

But late last year, I decided to shift careers and go back to non-profit fundraising, and I want to present the logic I used to make that decision. In two posts, I want to look at the plusses and the minuses of a career in politics.

Let’s start with the positives — things I gained from being a political staffer:

A “tenacity in pursuit” work ethic. Campaigns are time-driven machines that require careful planning, prioritization of tasks and quick execution. Good political staffers have to be fast, focused, flexible and ready to respond to anything while under all kinds of stress, and those skills have tremendously helped me in the “real world” workplace.

Management skills. A campaign’s success is driven by the staff’s ability to get volunteers, surrogates, consultants and candidates to perform key tasks — even when it’s pure grunt work or something the person does NOT want to do. These skills give former political workers an edge on managing employees, clients, donors, and volunteers.

Cool travel and even and phenomenal networking. I put well over 35,000 miles on my car in two years and it was worth every dollar I spent in gas. I got to drive all around North Carolina, meeting great people from all walks of life — voters, local leaders, candidates at all levels, elected officials, activists, political consultants and state-wide leaders. I was able to build relationships that I still keep today, find several mentors, and learn more about the state I now call home.

Workplace research and strategy skills. No matter the specific role, political staffers have to conduct careful, intense research on your candidate, opposition, and electorate before launching the campaign. The research makes sure you’re looking at all angles to find strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats before charting a course. It’s very valuable for me in my current job as we create new fundraising programs.

Technological skills. At every level of modern campaigns, staffers have to daily use technology for data and volunteer management, voter contact, fundraising, and polling, to name a few things. I’d taken some great computer classes in college, but political work refined my web, database, and Microsoft Office skills.

Being inside of the news. Once you work in politics, you can never read the news in the same way. It’s pretty cool to pick up a newspaper and read things that you knew days prior to the press finding out. It’s cooler to read a politician’s statement and know the staffer who actually wrote it. It’s coolest when you wrote a statement yourself or were directly involved in something that made the news.

Impressing people after you move on. People, especially donors, seem to be impressed by my political past — far more than when I actually worked in politics, to be honest. It is the launching point for many conversations in social and work situations, and the skills I gained from working in politics undoubtedly helped me land the job I currently have and will continue to help in future job searches.

And finally, stargazing. When I was in politics, I regularly ran into political celebrities — congressmen, state-wide elected officials, journalists, and pundits. Less often, but still exciting, I’d run into national people like Howard Dean and governors of other states. Just by volunteering last week, I saw both Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama speak and was about 20 feet from BO. Exciting stuff.

The key, though, is to not simply stargaze; meeting these political celebrities provide great networking opportunities. I’d dare say that few of them know me from Adam — they meet thousands upon thousands of people — but I’ve taken the opportunity to network with their staffers, who’ve helped me get access to the celebrities when I’ve needed them and given me great advice.

And I’d be remiss not to mention how fun it was to run into political celebrities I’m not particularly fond of like Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Kwame Kilpatrick, Mike Nifong, and even Star Jones. These are not my favorite people, but my encounters with them provide great content for random conversations, especially at parties.

These are the positive things that came out of my stint in politics. Stay tuned for a post looking at the negatives before deciding a career in politics is for you.

May 5, 2008 | Filed Under Blog, Career

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