Win Them Over: Generation Y Can Overcome Age Discrimination with Emotional Intelligence

Ageism is something most — if not all — twenty-somethings will have to confront as we build our careers. Often, we’re the youngest people in our organizations, and every now and then we’re confronted with overt displays of ageism. How we respond is critical.

My advice: Nip overt ageism in the bud. Make it clear that you won’t tolerate blatant disrespect and that you expect to work professionally and equally. Otherwise, the problem behavior will continue and you’ll never gain respect within the organization. The key to this is choosing the right approach, though.

Sometimes you have to kill them with kindness. During the second week of my first political job — consulting a state-wide organization while doing constituency organizing — a 70-year-old activist walked up to me during an important meeting and yelled, “Who in the hell hired this kid?”

I wanted to tell the lady where to shove it, but she’d become one of the most vocal activists in the state over a 40-year career.

I bit my tongue and said, “Maam, I didn’t hire myself, so you’ll have to take that issue up with people far higher on the totem pole.” It created a laugh in the room, and I continued by saying, “There’s no changing the fact that we have to work together, so I ask that you do me a big favor and share your wealth of knowledge with me so we can both be successful.”

Her mood changed drastically and the meeting moved forward without incident. After the meeting, I got several comments for handling her outburst, and I was able to talk with her one-on-one and convince her to start getting lunch with me regularly.

So when you’re faced with ageism from someone with authority and respect within your organization and whom you have to work alongside, you might have to consider the nice route by:
- Being humble and as nice as you can
- Showing respect for their age and experience
- Asking them to mentor you (realizing you don’t have to take their advice)

Basically, you want to make the potential adversary feel like they are a partner in your success.

Other times, you have to show authority. I worked full-time through undergrad, and in one of my jobs, I managed a housing complex near the university. Part of my responsibility was managing 100 tenants, 12 staff, and our relationship with a food service and janitorial company.

Within three months of my job, my main contact with the food service company — a 50-year-old guy with over 30 years experience in the field — began going over my head when he disagreed with my decisions, saying “Young guys don’t get it.” Luckily, my bosses didn’t micromanage, but I knew I had to stop this pattern quickly.

I called the guy into my office for a one-on-one meeting and began it by saying, “Look, I may be young, but I’m not a fool. I respect you, but I sign your check and I should hear your concerns directly instead of from my supervisors. Please don’t go above my head again, or we’ll have issues. I would hate to see you lose this account due to insubordination.”

It was extremely difficult for me to be so stern (I’m usually a happy go lucky guy), but it was necessary. He stopped going over my head and brought concerns directly to me, which made it much easier to be effective in the job.

So when you’re faced with overt ageism from a direct report, consider showing authority by:
- Having one-on-one conversations
- Being direct and authoritative
- Showing respect for their age and experience, while asking for the same
- Clarifying roles and responsibilities
- Indicating potential outcomes if problem behavior doesn’t change

Basically, you want to make the potential adversary feel like you are a partner in their success.

These are two methods that have helped me deal with overt ageism. Stay tuned for strategies to deal with inconspicuous — but still troublesome — examples of ageism in the workplace.

June 17, 2008 | Filed Under Blog, Career, Columns, Education

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Don’t wait to engage millennial donors

For fundraising, most organizations solely look to boomers and seniors for donations. As a major gifts officer, I completely understand it. The prospect pool is much higher because of the sheer population numbers and income.

This conventional wisdom often leads organizations to completely ignore young donors, but they are making big mistakes if they don’t build donor relationships with millennials.

Millennials are willing to give. The Center on Philanthropy at Indiana University (working with Campbell & Company consultants) released an excellent report confirming that millennials are just as likely as any other generation to donate. In a study of 10,000 people representing each generation, the average giving level of millennials is on par with that of other generations.

The study also found that millennials are more likely than any other generation to cite the “desire to make the world a better place to live” as a key motivation for their philanthropy. According to the Association of Fundraising Professionals, this response suggests that younger donors will respond better to messages that focus on the global impact of an organization’s work.

Millennials are willing to raise money. From activities like Jump Rope for Heart to collegiate dance marathons, philanthropy has been part of most millennials’ complete educational careers. Fundraising allows us to scratch the entrepreneurial itch, and more college and even high school students are stepping up to the philanthropic plate.

Non-profits would be remiss to not engage students in their fundraising efforts. My organization, the Ronald McDonald House and Family Room of Durham, is working with Duke University through DukeEngage, a program that places Duke students in summer internships at non-profit agencies. Our great interns are engineering a program called Schools of Hope that will engage local elementary and high school students in fundraising for the Ronald McDonald House.

Millennials are willing to take on executive volunteer roles and make major gifts. I serve on the board of Traction, a 501c3 organization that engages young people in civic life, and I’m a major donor to both Traction and the Ronald McDonald House. My best friend Josh is a trustee of his church and contributes over 10% of his salary to the church and it’s non-profit foundation. We both deduct manageable amounts each month from my paycheck that add up to major gifts for the organizations.

One of the best ideas I’ve heard is from Tracey, a VP for Development at the United Way who commented on my blog over at Brazen Careerist. Her organization is starting a Young Leaders Society to encourage major giving among 20 and 30-somethings.

And millennials could become lifetime donors. Investing in young donors now can be very profitable for organization’s long-term success. Getting a donor engaged in her 20s — even at a low-dollar level — and effectively stewarding her generosity could develop a lifetime donor. Over a potential 30+ year relationship, donations will grow with her income and she’d be perfect for capital projects and planned giving as years go on.

Universities have long realized these points. UNC, my alma mater, begins donor relationships from the day you enroll. Their HeelRaisers Society and senior campaigns even allow students to network and solicit other students via Facebook. Once you graduate, you’re invited to join the Young Alumni donor network and given “discounts” to join the University’s highest giving societies.

The sooner non-profit organizations borrow these ideas and engage with young donors, the better their outlook for the future.

June 2, 2008 | Filed Under Blog, Fundraising, Non-Profits

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