Derwin Dubose

Eight things I wish I knew eight years ago

// June 22nd, 2010 // Blog

Last week, I got lunch with my friend Susan and her son Jason, who just graduated from high school and is preparing to go to UNC in about six weeks.  Jason is excited about going to school and asked me if I had any advice as he started his college career.

I immediately had flashbacks of being a gangly 17-year-old, packing up his room in Alabama to move to Chapel Hill for school.  Eight years later, I can’t believe how thrilling life has been and how much I’ve grown during my time at Carolina and the four years after.  I had a lot of fun and learned some great lessons.

If I had to do it all again, I wish someone had told me these things before I started college:

Carve your own path.  There will be immense temptation to spend four year following a group and being singularly focused.  Sample all there is in college and move to the beat of your own drummer.

Take business and Econ classes. No matter your major, learning about business will be very useful when you are in the working world.  And make sure you spend more time on internships than campus activities.  Sadly, employers value work experience more than club activities and will not care that you were the president of a fraternity.  In fact, they might make fun of you for it.

Stay in shape! Run, lift weights, swim, go to the Student Rec Center, rock climb, hike, eat healthy!  It’s too easy to live off of pizza, beer, and Mexican food for four years and avoid exercise like the plague.  I gained 40 pounds in college, and it’s taken me four years to lose it.  (I did lose it, though, so high five.)  Your confidence, health, and happiness will be much better if you take care of yourself physically.

Talk to your mom and dad. They’re a lot cooler than you think.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Mistakes will happen, classes will be hard, you’ll embarrass yourself, people won’t like you, girls will reject you (again and again and again, sadly).  Remember that there are plenty of fish in the sea.  At Carolina,there are over 20,000 undergraduates, 19,982 of which didn’t see you trip on the bricks and drop all your books while walking to class.  Life is a lot easier once we stop taking it so seriously.

Stay centered in who you are. College brings a lot of fun opportunities but just as many awkward situations come along from ethical dilemmas to conflict, from sex to booze and drugs.  Remember what your values are, and avoid choices that contradict them.  Even if you try things you “shouldn’t,” being true to yourself will ensure you won’t end up in too much trouble if things go poorly.

It’s okay to not have it all figured out. Overachievers like to have all the answers, but know that sometimes – okay, 95% of the time for me – you will have no clue what you want to do or what the future holds.  That’s okay!  It’s completely normal, and most people who act like they have it all figured out are frontin’, in the words of Pharrell (or Jamie Cullum for you indie, hipster kids).  Hell, I’m 25, and I don’t know exactly what I want to be when I grow up.

Have fun. Skip class, play Frisbee on the quad, go on a cool Spring Break trip, attend concerts, root for the Tar Heels at every opportunity, eat at Sutton’s Drug Store, have rich conversations at 3:15AM with your next door neighbor.  Four years goes by faster than you think.  Savor every moment of it.  If you don’t, you’ll be a crotchety twenty-something with regrets.

What advice do you wish you had before you started college?  Post them here or on Facebook.