Beware of workplace bullies, especially if you’re a twenty-something

An article and blog post in yesterday’s NY Times health section brought up a topic that hit close to home: workplace bullying.

Young professionals should be very aware of these workplace problems because our age and eagerness can make us easy targets, and 37 percent of American workers have reported being bullied. I incurred the wrath of a bully for seven months in a previous job, and it took an extreme emotional toll.

Although it was a difficult time for me, I think I handled the situation well, and I’ll offer some tips on dealing with a workplace bully through telling my story. I was hired to work for a large organization, and three other staffers and I were placed under the immediate supervision of a difficult person.

Recognize the early warning signs. On my first day, my supervisor criticized the CEO for hiring me because of my age – “I don’t know why they hired an over-glorified intern who doesn’t know anything,” she said – and made a highly racist remark about me and my family. I knew then that a long battle was ahead. Within the first month, the supervisor demanded total control of my schedule and workload and took credit for all of my work.

Document inappropriate behavior. When I first went to complain to the HR department, it was dismissed as a personality conflict, and as a young professional, I was told that I “had to learn to get along with different people and respect my supervisor.”

Simply put, they didn’t believe me because I was young, and I learned that I had to provide proof of the problem. I began to keep a special “crazy” journal – locked away in a hidden folder on my jump drive – that detailed line-crossing behavior by the bully. It grew to five single-spaced pages.

Stay cool. No matter what my bullying supervisor said, I stayed calm and refused to raise my voice. I would disagree and express my objection to personal and inappropriate attacks, but I almost always did it calmly, regardless of her bellicose nature. I knew that if I stooped to her level, I ran the risk of being protrayed as the young trouble-maker in the office, helping her plan.

Find mentors in the organization. As Penelope Trunk says, mentors are important. I began to reach out to the CEO, CFO and other senior staffers, asking them to get lunch with me periodically and give me advice on how to be successful in my job. I was never negative about the bullying supervisor, but I shared the progress on my projects and clients. They soon began to understand my workload and contribution to the organization, and we developed relationships and trust.

Stand up for yourself. The attacks from the bully continued. For a while, I internalized it all, taking a toll on my home life. That changed one day when the bully belligerently yelled at me in front of other staffers. It was a deeply personal tirade that included some racist words, fingers in my face, chasing me down a hallway, job threats, and the parting words “you sorry SOB.” The embarrassment of being berated in front of colleagues in such a manner was the last straw.

The next day, I filed a hostile work environment complaint, gave the CEO a copy of my “crazy” journal, and said that I was prepared to leave the organization if the inappropriate behavior continued. The CEO realized that it was a grave situation and the documentation made it real. My job structure was changed so that I reported directly to the CEO and the supervisor was put on probation. The documentation and mentoring paid off because I stood up for myself.

Find allies among your coworkers. I made a point of building relationship with my other coworkers, who defended me against the bully’s gossip and talked favorably about me to the senior staff. Finding allies also uncovered fellow victims. One of the other twenty-somethings who reported to the bully finally confessed that she was the victim of similar attacks.

Do a good job. I knew that professional failures would only give the bully substantive fodder to attack. Once the senior staff knew what I was working on and once I reported directly to the CEO, I began to excel in the job. In fact, one of my clients presented me with an award at their annual gala. Plus, I got a glowing performance review from the senior staff.

The bully didn’t fare as well. The mounting complaints and lack of performance gave the senior staff no choice but to fire her seven months after her start date.

Consider finding a better situation. I outlasted the bully and enjoyed a lot of success after steps were taken to alleviate the situation. However, things don’t change for all people. If you’re stuck in a similar situation and things don’t change after frequent tactics or complaints, you should definitely consider looking for a better opportunity.

There’s plenty of stuff on the net about workplace bullying that can be found by simply using Google, but be sure the check out this report from the State of Washington and another from Pepperdine University.

March 26, 2008 | Filed Under Blog, Career

2 Comments